*insert scream here*

if i had a quarter for every time i had to defend them to you.

and i had a dollar taken away for every time ive had to defend you to them.

i would be a millionaire.

id rather be broke.

day six.

Favorite Super Hero!

 

i am a fan!

day 5.

a place that ive been

so. while you may not be able to tell. this is a pic of the ramada in in bridgeton mo. i was gonna post a picture of the most wonderful place ive been. but decided post a pic of the most disgusting hotel ive ever been in. haha. the website shows some beautiful pics of rooms. and a pool. and an up to date dining room. haha.

noooo they lied. the pool isnt there. there are bugs EVERYWHERE. beer cans littered everywhere. haha. such a gross place.

but it had fond memories. 

so i am not to angry. haha

pineapple yummyness

I love these drinks.. so stinkin good. I had to share! Thank goodness we have tons of food carts across the street that keep themselves stocked! love them.

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Giveaway!

Lindsey is having an awesome giveaway!

you should go over and check out her blog & sign up for her giveaway!

so awesome!

day 4.

there are a number of little habits that i wish i didnt have like biting my nails when im nervous or impatient, not being organized, sticking my tongue out when im concentrating, the 'scratchy throat' noise that everyone hates.

but there are a few BIG ones that i wish i didnt have. the first one is being judgmental. when i see something 'crazy' or that i dont like i instantly make a judgment, and its usually all over my face. i cant hide it. i try, but i just cant do it. the judgmental side of me, makes getting to know people hard, getting rid of my first impression. *sigh
* lol. it needs to go.

the next one is my road rage. lol. i cannot seem to control it. no matter if i am praying on my way into work, and i am feeling the love of God in my car, someone goes to slow or cuts me off, i am screaming at them! lol. granted i dont curse, so about the meanest they get called is moron. but regardless.. the road rage is soo out of control. everyone that drives faster than me is an idiot, and everyone who drives slower is a moron. lol. my dad taught me how to drive, and man did i learn all that i know from him. lol.

day 3.

mary & katie.

these girls have gotten me through a bunch of stuff.

i love them. 

like woah.

day 2.

the meaning behind my blog name.

contently consistently chaotic. i chose it because it was the first thing that came to mind when i thought about my life. where i am now and where ive come from. life has always been kinda chaos. something i think as of right now i wouldnt change even if i could. its always chaotic.. and im content with that. 

kinda self explanatory! :) haha.

Day 1.

ive been needing to find more of me lately. the girl that i am. the girl that i want to be. i need to pick back up dreams that i have long since walked away from. and with doing that. i want to blog more. not beacuse i want folks to read. but because i want to write again. i want to write something with meaning again. 

i have decided to do the challenge that Kellie is doing. the 30 Days of Me. 

Here are the daily prompts for 30 days of me:

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

day 2- the meaning behind you blog name

day 3- a picture of you and your friends

day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have

day 5- a picture of somewhere youve been to

day 6- favorite super hero and why

day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

day 8- short term goals for this month and why

day 9- something youre proud of in the past few days

day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

day 11- another picture of you and your friends

day 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have one

day 13- a letter to someone who has hurt you recently

day 14- a picture of you and your family

day 15- put you ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play

day 16- another picture of yourself

day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have

day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them

day 20- someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future

day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy

day 22- what makes you different from everyone else

day 23- something you crave for a lot

day 24- a letter to your parents

day 25- what I would find in your bag

day 26- what do you think about your friends

day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge

day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?

day 29- in this past month, what have you learned

day 30- you favorite song

Day One.

1. i love turbulence when im flying. it remind me that im still in the air.

2. many people in my life have taught me that the quote 'just because somebody doesnt love you the way you want them to, doesnt mean they dont love you with all they got' is true.

3. i hate the smell of peanut butter & chocolate together. i hate the taste as well. 

4. i cry at sad movies. at happy movies. at sappy movies. i just cant help it. get me a tissue. dont make a scene. i am my fathers daughter. haha.

5. i have recently begun to filter what i say and think. its been a long process to gain a filter. putting it to use has been an even longer one.

6. i dont know when it happened. but i gave up on believing in my dreams. believing in my ambitions. believing in myself. that is all about to change.

7. i wish my nephews lived closer. as much as i would love to love on them. i wish more so for my mom. i think she needs them.

8. i love jersey shore. the bachelor/ette. big brother. dating in the dark. and most reality tv. but i dont have the time to sit and watch them as they come on.  DVR is my friend. 

9. i want a lot of kids. i want to name my first 2 sons Boston, Thane, or Roman. My daughters name will be Isabella. the first person to shorten her name to izzy will be shot. :)

10. having a family is one of the biggest desires of my heart. one step below making heaven my home.

11. my ears have never been pierced. and never will be.

12. as hard as it was for me to lose my dad. i think it would have been a lot harder had i lost my mom first. thinking about my mom ever dying makes my heart ache in a way that is indescribable.

13. i can pretty much quote every line in dirty dancing. pretty woman & 10 things i hate about you.

14. ive not cut my hair since the 5th grade. not even a trim. and it will never be cut again. 

15. without a fan running in my room. i cannot sleep. 

mud puddles.

i asked my friend billie earlier... why dont you like *insert name here* and her response was sooo amazing. i dont know why i havent thought of it before. she said...

its not that i dont like them. its that i try to stay away from mud puddles. sometimes i accidently step in them. but for the most part i try to walk around them. 

i LOVED it. and i have decided to stay away from mud puddles. they just get me dirty! :)

this last weekend was great! super stinking busy. but awesome! it was a lot of different emotions for me as well. i think im learning a lot. but i dont know where these lessons came from. i dont even know why they started. but i know that i most definatly needed to learn them.

friday after work i hung out with the most handsome boy in the portland metro area! 

Javin

 he is the most active kid i have ever met. at one point i was chanting 'go javin go javin go' and he probably ran around me and the coffee table at least 100 times with little to no energy loss at all! lol. after babysitting him, mk and i hung out. we watched a few movies. we were supposed to scrapbook, but thats just not gonna happen. we are just gonna make photo books. sooo much easier! haha.

saturday. we had a car wash for Grace Point. i watched lil javin again. we went to the park. and walked around a bit. i talked to brother tony about lyme disease. he gave me a lot of useful and great information about it. so awesome!we had a meeting about Grace Point. i am overly excted for this church to start full time! 
after that meeting kristofer, kayla, mary, jer, brianna, kris r, and manny came to my house for a BBQ. kristofer made the most awesome chicken ive ever had while jer made the most amazing corn on the cob ive ever had. soo super yum. sooo stinkin yum.

 that nigh was full of apples to apples. food. rock band. ufc fights. laughing. not so appropriate jokes. just fun times.


sunday. was a pretty crazy day! super busy with grace point. that made 3 church services in all. the first church service. man. so crazy. amazing. the second service i did nursery work. and the third service was just what i needed. 


my mom has been almost gone a week. and im read for her to be home. yesterday we had the 4th anniversary of my dads death. i did well. but i know she was hurting and it was hard not being able to be there for her! its been four years. sometimes it feels as if its been so much less. other times it feels as if its been forever. i miss him. i miss a lot of things. but mostly i miss him for my mom. 


i had a lot of friends help me thorugh the last week. and for them i will be forever greatful!

a month.

is confused between what i want.. and what others want for me..

*sigh*

tmi & mommas cruise.

*TMI ALERT! *

haha.

i feel like my uterus is about to bust out and rip someones head off! its declared war on all of my inside organs. i feel like its going to be noshing on my ovaries soon. i am afraid that its going to just break through at any moment. i wish that i was joking, but i honestly dont believe that i am. 

*end TMI*

haha.. now that thats over... i just HAD to share..

i am sad that my momma is leavin for a week.. but super stoked because she is going on a cruise. its sooo out of her comfort zone! she will be leaving tomorrow morning and going on this crusie with my pastor & wife, and a TON of their family. she has never had a vacation without one of my family members. i love that she is getting out and doing things on her own. 

i am a bit nervous that she will be by herself (i say that loosely since there is like 17 other folks going with her) without me or my brother for the anniversary of my dads death. its coming up sooo soon! 4 years! august 17th. woah. i know that she will be taken care of. i just worry about her..

on another note.. i am getting a week alone. i say that loosely as well.. since there will be tons of folks spending the night while my momma is gone. i am kinda excited to be able to do just whatever i want without having to worry about anyone other than my doggie! :)

lately ive been neglecting my blog a lot. i haven't had much to say, and still really dont. but i do want to get into blogging more. i just second guess what i have to say, a lot! lol. 

st louis

so. we have been in st louis for 3 days and have eaten at steak n shake 4 times. this quiz trip has been fun. love it!

besides that.. today is my birthday and the only wish is that you would acknowledge it. btw. thanks.

its been an amazing day. we dont quiz anymore today..but will resume again tomorrow. fun.

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i miss you.

this song has been playing over & over in my mind for the last couple weeks. i LOVE it.

I Miss You - Incubus

To see you when I wake up,
is a gift I didn't think could be real
To know that you feel the same, as I do, 

is a Three-fold utopian dream 

You do something to me 

That I can't explain 

So would I be out of line, If I said 

I miss you. 

I see your picture, I smell your skin on,
 the empty pillow next to mine 

You have only been gone ten days,
but already I am wasting away 

I know I'll see you again 

Whether far or soon 

But I need you to know, that I care 

And I miss you