Cat posted in her blog at one point that her fingers were feeling mute. and thats really how i feel. i feel that i am too worried about the people that actually read my blog. (thank you to those who do btw) but i started a blog because i wanted to remember. i wanted to be able to vent. i wanted to be able to write and not have to hold back. i want to have something to say that people will find interesting, i want that. but i desire more to be able to say what i feel. instead of filtering.
today i learned over again that 'just because someone doesnt love you the way that you want them to, doesnt mean they dont love you the way they know how.' its something that by now, growing up in my house, with my dad and my brother.. that i should have learned. but i think i need the repeat reminder.
i am sorry that i judged you. i am sorry that i forgot that we operate differently. i am sorry that i almost gave up. and i am sorry that i had thoughts of worse. thank you for reminding me.