Friday, December 11, 2009
There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did,
who wont anymore, and who always will. So, dont worry about people from your
past, there is a reason why they didnt make it to your future.
when i read that i was just saddened. i know many a person that i would have loved to see make it to where i am now. to know me as who i am now. but for whatever reason, they are not part of me now. people that i thought would be there forever are just a distant memory. i miss some of the folks like woah.
i am HORRIBLE at keeping in touch with people that are not in my immediate life! that shouldnt be! i forget to take time to call, or text, or write, or email... i just forget. and then the slipping happens. and that person that used to be close. just fades...
i need to make a more constant effort at keeping in touch! thats my new years resolution! :)
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
im really sleepy today. i need to get some more rest. especially if imma be driving the entire way there and back to cali soon. im getting excited to go. very excited. three friends. suv. music. fun. and a camera! :) there WILL be pics posted. for sure! it will be me. mare. and mk.
tonight we went to the higgins (kates) house and prepared baskets that the youth are supposed to take caroling tomorrow. it was a fun time of just girl talk! it was everything from spiders, to extremely large pads and tampons, to vomit, to kids, to the places we sleep. it was so much fun!
here are some photos.
A bit blurry, bur Jenny & the cookies.
The finished product & Al.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
I cannot even explain the excitement that I have on going to California. But the definite hesitation that I have as well. Its difficult to put into words, I am trying to, but it seems like everything I type completely contradicts the other. So, I am not going to even try.
I think that this year has been crazy! I am very thankful that its almost over! Its crazy how so much can change, but how much we dont notice the change. Or at least I dont! I notice things like my new apartment, and my mom being laid off. But the friends that I let slip away were gone before I even batted an eye. The thoughts that I had and dreams that I dreamed, kinda went with the wind. I dont know when it happened, but it did. I wonder sometimes when was the moment that those things that I once held dear started slipping away without my notice. I like to think that I am a very observant person. Id like to think that I would notice. Was it a missed phone call? Was it a funny look? Was it because we didnt have time? Why? Change happens all the time. But it seems as if I dont notice it until its completed.
Tonight we had service with Bro Staten. Hes from the DC area and hes a soul winner like no other! I am amazed on the stories that he had. But Im so amazed on the passion that poured from him. At first I thought it was going to be just another Abundant Supply Conf. But it was much more. It defiantly lived up to its new name. Oregon Revival & Evangelism Conference. Brother Statens passion was more than a just passion. It was like it was tangible. Like it was reachable. He put his thoughts so plain! And it was easy for me to latch on to that passion while he preached.
It was a beautiful thing for me to look around and see a building full of people laughing and talking after church was pretty much dismissed. Not even caring about what else is happening in the same room. Less than a foot away from some people there were youth praying. 'My' youth. AWaCks! I couldnt help but have a small bit of pride knowing that 'my' youth were seeking out God. I looked around as we sat there, some of us with far away looks in our eyes. Some of us were kneeling at the alter. Some of us were crying out. Some of us were just silent, not able to speak because we would ruin that connection.
It may seem prideful, but thats not at all how its intended. But being an AWaCk is a way of life. Its being the first in the alter and the last out. Its knowing when Gods anointing is falling and being sensitive to it. Its being able to have our differences, but always having each others back. Its about so many other things. I dont know if it at all makes sense to folks. But its a beautiful thing to me! I am so thankful.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
One that I am MOST certain that I couldnt get by without is Momma. Sometimes the lady drives me insane, and sometimes I feel more like the momma, than the child. But my momma is amazing. I love her. She is one of the main players in this game. I can always count on her to listen, even when I am being COMPLETELY ridiculous! She always has something insane to say or something that she is thinking about. She has not always had it easy, and even when she didnt want to survive... She did. Sometimes I take her for granted but at the end of the day, she is my most loyal fan! I love her more than words could ever say! She is my momma!
Cinderella Cinderella... Cinder-not... Cinder-block... well whatever. Mary is the next player in the game. She is usually there when Im going to explode on someone! She talks me out of breaking peoples faces on a regular basis. haha. jk. She is one of my best friends and should be a write off on my taxes! I am thankful for Mary because although Im not your normal UPC girl, she doesnt judge. Even when I am vulgar or inappropriate or just plain rude. She just quietly nods and smiles, and still doesnt judge. For that I am thankful! *insert inside joke here* God Bless Cindy, God Bless Sarah & God Bless Mare *end joke* We have good times and many stories will involve her. I must say that I am most thankful for her in the holiday season. Let the Christmas Light Grading begin!
AWaCks While they are not all here, and some of these are gone. AWaCks are my youth group. But it really just isnt a group of people. It is a way of life. Being an AWaCk is special. This group has its faults and failures, but at the end of the day they are home. AWaCks do everything loud. We are always the life of the party. Some of us havent grown up, some of us never will. Some of us even though we grow up and leave, will always be an AWaCk at heart. This group of people, this life style is so amazing. They are a big part of the game. To be honest, I dont know who I would be without them! I love that I can say that Imma AWaCk!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
I would describe myself as contently chaotic. and I love it. I love the life that I lead. I love the quirks that I have. While it may not be ideal for some. I love it.