Thursday, December 3, 2009

unfocused rambles.

Today I wish that I could say that I had any sort of focus at all! My brain is gone! MIA! I couldnt get out of bed this morning to save my poor soul. I left late to work, but arrived right on time (Thank You Jesus). Only to remember that I forgot half of everything I needed today! It didnt seem to get better as the day progressed. At lunch I was sitting and talking to Yenni about how many tardies and absences I have. When I look down and I am 10 minutes LATE from lunch! Really? Yes! Really! That happened! If you find my brain. Please let me know! Im having withdrawals. Just sayin'.

I cannot even explain the excitement that I have on going to California. But the definite hesitation that I have as well. Its difficult to put into words, I am trying to, but it seems like everything I type completely contradicts the other. So, I am not going to even try.

I think that this year has been crazy! I am very thankful that its almost over! Its crazy how so much can change, but how much we dont notice the change. Or at least I dont! I notice things like my new apartment, and my mom being laid off. But the friends that I let slip away were gone before I even batted an eye. The thoughts that I had and dreams that I dreamed, kinda went with the wind. I dont know when it happened, but it did. I wonder sometimes when was the moment that those things that I once held dear started slipping away without my notice. I like to think that I am a very observant person. Id like to think that I would notice. Was it a missed phone call? Was it a funny look? Was it because we didnt have time? Why? Change happens all the time. But it seems as if I dont notice it until its completed.

Tonight we had service with Bro Staten. Hes from the DC area and hes a soul winner like no other! I am amazed on the stories that he had. But Im so amazed on the passion that poured from him. At first I thought it was going to be just another Abundant Supply Conf. But it was much more. It defiantly lived up to its new name. Oregon Revival & Evangelism Conference. Brother Statens passion was more than a just passion. It was like it was tangible. Like it was reachable. He put his thoughts so plain! And it was easy for me to latch on to that passion while he preached.

It was a beautiful thing for me to look around and see a building full of people laughing and talking after church was pretty much dismissed. Not even caring about what else is happening in the same room. Less than a foot away from some people there were youth praying. 'My' youth. AWaCks! I couldnt help but have a small bit of pride knowing that 'my' youth were seeking out God. I looked around as we sat there, some of us with far away looks in our eyes. Some of us were kneeling at the alter. Some of us were crying out. Some of us were just silent, not able to speak because we would ruin that connection.

It may seem prideful, but thats not at all how its intended. But being an AWaCk is a way of life. Its being the first in the alter and the last out. Its knowing when Gods anointing is falling and being sensitive to it. Its being able to have our differences, but always having each others back. Its about so many other things. I dont know if it at all makes sense to folks. But its a beautiful thing to me! I am so thankful.


1 comment:

  1. it makes sense to the people that it's supposed to make sense to. you can't understand it until you live it.