Tuesday, March 30, 2010

california love...

this picture makes me giggle.
and i have no clue why.

okay. so 3 days from now i will be in california. i will probably be in my rental car. with the windows rolled down. hopefully its a bit chilly. so i can have the heat cranked up. and i will be singing loudly to the mix's Kris is making for me. i dont know WHY i am sooo excited about this. but i am.

im not overly thrilled to be doing anything else in California. besides seeing the friends and family i havent seen in the last 7 years. but i am super stoked to be ALONE there! :) no travel buddy. just me. myself. and my mixed cd's! driving from Sacramento to Tulare (small town, youve never heard of it! haha).

oh. i am SOO STOKED!

Monday, March 29, 2010

You're Not Alone.

today was a very emotional day for me. very. not way into posting about it. which means i shouldnt bring it up. lol. but i did! ha.

ive been listening to this song on repeat.

You're Not Alone.

I search for love
When the night came and it closed in
I was alone
but you found me where I was hiding
and now I'll never ever be the same
It was the sweetest voice that called my name

You're not alone
for I am here
let me wipe away your every fear
My love I've never left your side
I have seen you through the darkest night
and I'm the one who's loved you all your life
All of your life

You cry yourself to sleep
cause the hurt is real
and the pain cuts deep
All hope seems lost
With heartache your closest friend
and everyone else long gone

You've had to face the music on your own
but there is a sweeter song that calls you home

You're not alone
for I am here
let me wipe away your every tear
My love I've never left your side
I have seen you through the darkest nights
And I'm the one who's loved you all your life
All your life

Faithful and true... Forever
For my love will carry you....

You're not alone
for I... I am here
let me wipe away every fear... Oh yeah
My love I've never left your side
I have seen you through your darkest night
Your darkest night
And I'm the one who's loved you all your life
All of your life

Friday, March 26, 2010

fill in the blank friday! oh yeah!

ive been reading Lauren's blog lately. every week she does the 'Fill in the Blank Friday'. so i decided to join in! :)

1. The best piece of advice I was to remember who i can change. i cannot change others feelings, how they act, or what they do. the only one i can change is me. how i react to situations and whatnot.

2. If I had a million dollars to give to one charity I would give it to the Fred Scott Memorial School.

3. If I got to choose my "last meal" it would be a good bbq meal! corn on the cob. mmm.

4. My hair is frustrating. its long. frizzy. and naturally nappy. even when i 'do' it, its still a mess. no bueno.

5. If at first you don't succeed try it again. just like the saying goes. each time you try. you get better and better.
6. I have always been very loud. opinionated. loyal. and sensitive.

7. Oh....and by the way.... i am going to California in a week! at this time next week. i hope to already had lunch with Kor and the kiddos in Modesto. and be driving to Tulare, with the window rolled down. music up super loud. singing to my hearts content. then ill pick up Vivi, and we will have a girls night. sleep over. junk food. swimming. pretending we are 15 again! :)


Thursday, March 25, 2010

gossip girl.

oh em goodness.
i have a SHAMEFUL addiction.


thanks NETFLIX! Geeze!

anyway. i just finished with the second season.
and i must say.
i love blair and chuck.
i love chuck and blair.
its sick.
i know.
but i love them.

when they kissed at the end.
i actually cheered.
clapping and everything.

*hangs head in shame*



and i dont know why.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

the weekend.

this weekend has been a mighty long weekend!
that is for sure.
started off with an
awesome morning and afternoon with my madre.
we shopped.
cleaned out the car.
got an oil change.
ate lunch. 

aawwwww. matching outfits for the most adorable nephews EVER!
i have a small love for plaid shorts on kids!
super cute! :)

then it was off to the higgins house.
the olive and my abc gum.
the arrival of the demskis.
fire on the mountain.
the dead end.
yo cream.
leaving folks.
super fun.

i love my friends.
they are all so goofy.
but thats why i love em.


That was another loooonnnggg day that didnt want to end.
we went to spaghetti factory with the demskis.
no pictures. but lots of good memories.
mall time. cute shoes.
i am still trying to find a cute pair of sandles.
its a must need.

pastor tore it up on sunday morning.
talking about priorites.
and i had to admit.
my priorities were not in the right place.
i had to make some choices yesterday.
that i never wanted to say outloud.

i couldnt get the movie devil wears prada out of my head while i was praying.

Nate: [as Andy takes a call from Miranda] You know, in case you were wondering - the person whose calls you always take? That's the relationship you're in. I hope you two are very happy together.

the thing that i always talk about.
the people i am always with.
the things that win out to praying.
and reading the Bible.

thats the relationship that im in.
and i dont want to be in a relationship like that.
God has to come first in my life.

so i gave up the hope for many things yesterday.
i know that if they are right for me.
that they will come.
i cant search them out.
its not for me to decide.
i want the desire of Gods heart for me.

sunday evenings message was an odd thing for me.
restore. renew. release.
brother collier talked about some things that just blew me away.
being restored.
if it is possible for us to be hurt.
its possible for us to be restored.

its not for me to say who needs to be restored. but he gave an illustration about a solider. getting shot. about to die. but yet someone on his team helps him. and he lives. he is restored. back to being the person he was. when he said that, i thought about the other people on that soliders team. the people that even though they are not there to "help" him, they still want to see him restored. we all cant help everyone back to life. sometimes we are the silent teamates. that you only notice when all the dark times are over.

*start* i have a "friend". i say "friend" because i know that she doesnt count me as a friend anymore. which is fine. maybe she hasnt for awhile. but i count her as a friend. but i want her to know. that even though i can no longer 'help' her. i still am on her team. i might not be at her side. i might not be in the front lines with her. i might be that silent teamate that she doesnt even realize is still there. but i still pray for her. i still want to see her make the right decisions for her family and herself. i still am gald to see her doing well. even though i think that there is more behind the reason that we are not 'friends' anymore, more that doesnt even have to do with me. i want her to know that i forgive her. and i am sorry if she were offended by my actions.ot defending myself at all because i dont believe its necessary, i would have done the same thing for her. i dont want to be close. and i honestly dont mind if we stay where we are. but restoration is possible. in our "friendship".  to where we can have an unawkward conversation. the awkward eye catching moments, dont have to be so awkward. i say restoration is possible.. *end* 

after church.
there was pizza and whatnot.
and then games.

after dinner snacks with mare.
which was good times since i havent hung out with her in forever.
and then home to bed.

if you made it though this whole blog.
i commend you.
i didnt intend to write this all.
or include as many pics as i did.
but my weekend was great.
long. and great.

im blessed.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

awesome prizes! :)

i am so stoked!
i got my prizes from
Kellie's give away!

i love the bag! i cant wait to go shopping with it! :)
i cannot wait to listen to the CD! i am super happy!
i love getting mail!!


and i must...

for some reason my computer @ work
will not let me respond to comments left on my blog.
No i havent received the package,
but i will be on the look out for it. THANKS again!
you are awesome! :)


There are SOO many things on my must do list!
so i thought that i would post them so i can remember!

I must hurry up and write my letters to the girls participating in Kellie's Pen Pal fun! :)
i need to visit their blogs and start getting some prizes together for them! :)
i cannot wait! i love getting mail and i loveeee sending mail!

 i am working on making a tutu for little Julie for her birthday! :)
it will be my first tutu made. i hope that it turns out suppper cute!
i want to make it a princess theme! i love the look of tutu's on babies! :)

my poor poor poor feet.
they are looking so rough that it is unbelievable. i feel bad for them.
they havent been taken care of in months.
MONTHS i say!
i think that my pedi lady is going to have to charge me extra!
well.. they arent really THAT bad, but bad enough!


i need to finish the door hangers for outreach!
i keep procrastinating!
and i need to talk to Pastor about money for ink!
this needs to be done ASAP! like WOAH!

back to work.
i probably could have spent my hour lunch knocking out
SOME of this list and the things i didnt name,
but it was soooo much more fun doing the list!


Sunday, March 14, 2010

please get off my chest!

can the person/thing WHATEVER it is that feels like its sitting on my chest please remove itself!?

i feel like crud! no joke. i am really over being sick. OVER IT! i went to the urgent care yesterday after Bible Quizzing and $97 & 4 prescriptions later i still feel the same. i know its not miracle drugs or anything. but sounding like i am stepping on a fresh bag of potato chips ever time i exhale is no bueno.

im cold. i am tired. and i am ms. grumpy pants!

happy sunday! = /


Saturday, March 13, 2010

tom cruise & my sinus issues.

there is something about a tearing up or crying tom cruise that makes me sad. im sitting here watching jerry maguire. and hes teared up a few times. and so do i. a crying hot man. haha. that just does me in!

*start rant* i HATE sinus issues. it seems like every other blasted month i have some sort of sinus issue. the last few days i have had more junk in my head than i can stand! i feel like there is a hand in my head that is pushing through my face. my jaw and my ear. no blasted bueno.

i really wanna get my sinus cavities taken out. just remove them. they dont serve any purpose. except to make me miserable!  if they need something to fill that space, they should put like inflateable balloons.. SOMETHING! i dont care what! but i HATE them! *END RANT*

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

adults... or no?

folks crack me up. im really tired of the attention grabing status'. we are adults. right? adults. *sigh* lets move on and not be petty.

right. moving on.

ive been doing a lot of thinking lately. and things must change. im not sure i want to put on a public blog what must change. but things must change.

Monday, March 8, 2010

march eighth.

so today would have been the 30th wedding annivesary of my parents! thirty years! wow. i cant imagine living with someone and still liking them let alone loving them after thirty years! i wish my mom was able to know how that felt, living for thirty years, liking and loving my dad.

she decided this weekend that she would rent a car and drive out to seaside to stay at the last place we all stayed as a family. my dad liked that place! i hope she isnt to sad today because we know he is in a better place, but i know she is and that makes me sad.

hollysue posted a blog on her myspace after my dad died about how she cant even imagine what it would be like to lose a spouse. and today i feel that. not as a daughter. but as a woman. that when i chose (or rather God chooses for me) to gt married... losing that person. i cant imgaine how completely alone i would feel.

i will finish up here at work. go to class. then drive out to see my mommy. and hopefully make her feel less alone.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

i love having internet at the church. it is the most AWESOMEST thing. and we are now in the 20th century! :) i LOVE IT! we havent quite made it to the 21st, but we are well on our way! :) and for that i am super beyond stoked!

the idea of loves came from different blogs that i have been reading. and i love the loves idea. so i have just a few more for this wonderful sunday evening! :)

This bumper sticker! I was driving today and pulled up behind this truck! and i wanted to high five the lady driving! i said "FOR REAL" and then HAD to snap a pic! lol. its sooo true. killing babies has to be okay. but terrorists? nooooo... lol. maybe not for all. but i heart it.

i have been chewing trident gum for years. but to the people of trident... I  LOVE LAYERS! both of theses gums are FANTASTIC! :) and i love them! the middle is like candy! like a sweet but a tiny bit sour goodness that just makes the mouth water for days! wonderful. the strawberry is my complete favorite, but the green apple is equaly as delish!

i still have a post that i am working on about last sunday evening and monday. i MUST find time to finish it! but that will have to come after finishing babies invitations.  :)

Thursday, March 4, 2010

i missed my maxx!


I am soooo stoked that Maxx is back in my possession. The wonderful folks at Canon had him for a few days and repaired him back to wonderful working condition. Oh, how i missed him!


Amaya gave me some cute stickers to decorate him! :)

Pictures are sure to happen more frequent now that i have my camera!